00:00:00:00 00:00:00:08 ONKEL REIDAR Tekst: Eva Janneke Lofstad 00:02:08:06 00:02:11:03 You must know, Margreth. 00:02:11:05 00:02:16:21 I never go to sleep without saying a prayer for you. 00:02:16:23 00:02:20:14 For you to bear a living, healthy child. 00:02:30:00 00:02:35:14 We parents believe and expect our children to be like us. 00:02:35:16 00:02:40:00 If so, we would learn nothing about ourselves. 00:02:40:02 00:02:45:19 I think we learn from meeting people different from us. 00:02:45:21 00:02:49:07 In most families the nuances are small. 00:02:49:09 00:02:52:21 But not in mine, for we have uncle Reidar. 00:02:52:23 00:02:56:00 MY UNCLE 00:03:46:15 00:03:49:05 What will this film come to? 00:03:49:07 00:03:52:15 Not a lot, I suspect. 00:03:53:12 00:03:57:04 Uncle Reidar's midwife had a black coat. 00:03:57:06 00:04:04:08 She practically tore around saying he had slanting eyes. 00:04:04:10 00:04:09:20 When gran took uncle Reidar to the shop, nobody greeted them. 00:05:01:23 00:05:07:20 Mum showed me the spruce. She told me she ran here- 00:05:07:22 00:05:10:16 -when the other kids laughed. 00:05:12:24 00:05:17:20 She's had many secrets. She still has some. 00:05:17:22 00:05:22:04 Don't think you can use this. And you shouldn't. 00:05:22:06 00:05:28:01 It's not right to involve me in the handling of uncle Reidar. 00:05:47:23 00:05:52:24 You'll never make me say that in front of a camera. 00:05:53:01 00:05:58:08 -Why not? -I don't want to talk about it. 00:05:58:10 00:06:01:22 Why shouldn't we talk about things? 00:06:01:24 00:06:08:05 -I don't talk about lots of things. -What's the philosophy behind it? 00:06:08:07 00:06:13:20 What the ear doesn't hear, the heart doesn't fear. 00:06:16:16 00:06:21:04 Mum was 12, and had bloodied her knuckles. 00:06:21:06 00:06:25:21 One of the girls in the area doled out sweets. 00:06:25:23 00:06:31:16 All who could thank her would get. Reidar could only smile. 00:07:06:11 00:07:11:21 His first spoken word was "damn". 00:07:11:23 00:07:16:13 He was always ill. But he never cried. 00:07:19:22 00:07:23:23 He was given a small spade. He always used it. 00:07:24:00 00:07:29:24 Took it to bed. After a long time we got it from him. 00:07:33:18 00:07:38:11 When the spade disappeared, he got a black leather bag. 00:07:38:13 00:07:41:04 He had it for years. 00:07:43:14 00:07:48:10 Gran says that Reidar has a joy we should learn from. 00:07:48:12 00:07:52:22 "Becoming Reidar's mother shaped the rest of my life- 00:07:52:24 00:07:57:04 -and my other children's" she said when I was pregnant. 00:07:57:06 00:08:00:21 Gran thought there was a life for Reidar. 00:08:00:23 00:08:03:01 But not in Horningdal. 00:08:03:03 00:08:07:00 I remember the story about Solbakken best. 00:08:07:02 00:08:09:20 He went to Solbakken when he was 11. 00:08:09:22 00:08:17:02 Mum and dad said it was a special school. We grieved. 00:08:17:04 00:08:24:10 The day he was leaving... When the taxi came... 00:08:24:12 00:08:27:02 He was in the hall puking. 00:08:27:04 00:08:31:10 Mum was not on top of the world. 00:08:31:12 00:08:35:16 It's difficult to talk about that day. 00:08:35:18 00:08:39:14 -Why is that? -I don't know. 00:08:39:16 00:08:43:13 But it has always been difficult. 00:08:43:15 00:08:47:08 But we talked a lot about it when mum returned. 00:08:47:10 00:08:51:09 And with dad and granddad. 00:08:52:22 00:09:00:14 But you know... He was always the focal point. 00:09:00:16 00:09:02:23 All the time. 00:09:03:00 00:09:07:18 Everything was laid aside to put him first. 00:09:07:20 00:09:12:06 He came first in every context. 00:09:14:16 00:09:18:10 Reidar's departure was hard on us siblings. 00:09:18:12 00:09:23:07 How it was for her defies description. 00:09:48:14 00:09:54:23 I said he would be with many children like him. 00:09:55:00 00:10:01:07 But he was not prepared for me returning home. 00:10:01:09 00:10:05:08 It was hard leaving him. 00:10:05:10 00:10:09:15 I had to hide to get away from him. 00:10:15:17 00:10:18:07 Don't run, Reidar. 00:10:47:18 00:10:50:11 Who do I see? Hello! 00:10:51:17 00:10:54:15 Do I get a hug? 00:10:56:18 00:10:59:10 Not so hard! 00:11:05:23 00:11:08:22 -How are you? -Fine. 00:11:08:24 00:11:11:15 Hello, dear. 00:11:11:17 00:11:16:03 Look who I brought with me. Who is it? 00:11:31:20 00:11:34:11 After you. 00:11:40:11 00:11:44:09 Here are Reidar's rags. 00:11:47:05 00:11:52:18 -Aren't you clever! -He has cut three balls today. 00:11:52:20 00:11:55:10 -Poor chap. -Three like that. 00:11:55:12 00:12:02:08 You mustn't pity him. He gets cross if he's not allowed. 00:12:02:10 00:12:07:19 I f I had to do that, I would have sat down and cried. 00:12:13:13 00:12:16:20 You mustn't eat me! 00:12:35:07 00:12:39:12 Do you get paid? Have you signed? 00:12:39:14 00:12:42:09 -Yes. -Well done. 00:12:44:16 00:12:51:02 Not all bosses get hugged when they pay the wages. 00:12:51:04 00:12:54:21 Have you been paid today? 00:12:56:12 00:13:03:20 He gets paid every week. He sees the reward for his work. 00:13:03:22 00:13:10:01 -How much do they get? -12 kroner per working hour. 00:13:10:03 00:13:16:06 We are proud of the 12 kroner. Above the national average. 00:13:16:08 00:13:20:20 -What are these for? -Paper bags. 00:13:22:10 00:13:27:05 Paper bags? With holes in both ends? 00:13:27:07 00:13:30:20 What is it for? Loo paper? 00:13:30:22 00:13:33:17 No. Here. 00:13:38:14 00:13:43:00 Shall we go to the hotel and eat up the money you got? 00:13:43:02 00:13:45:04 I'd had enough. 00:13:45:06 00:13:50:02 I got no support or help with him at home. 00:13:50:04 00:13:56:02 I had to handle everything myself. It was terribly hard. 00:13:56:04 00:13:59:21 For his siblings and for me and Oskar. 00:13:59:23 00:14:04:23 Some in dad's family said she was not cut out to be a mother,- 00:14:05:00 00:14:07:19 -since she could put her son away. 00:14:07:21 00:14:14:03 But if you try to see it from mum's point of view,- 00:14:14:05 00:14:17:00 -she didn't have a choice. 00:14:17:02 00:14:23:11 We weren't actually hostile towards each other. 00:14:23:13 00:14:27:00 But I had to be out. And in. And in the barn. 00:14:27:02 00:14:33:03 And I was out in the community working as a health visitor. 00:15:29:20 00:15:35:00 Heavens. What a lot of cars you have on the wall. 00:15:36:02 00:15:39:07 Lovely. Is this the one you want? 00:15:39:09 00:15:42:02 -Yes. -A Hiclass? 00:15:42:04 00:15:50:03 -You know what it costs? -Who cares. In Stryn. Many. 00:15:50:05 00:15:52:16 -Cars like these? -Yes. 00:15:52:18 00:15:57:17 -I have a telephone number. -Gunnar's? 00:15:57:19 00:16:01:02 Telephone number for Stryn. 00:16:01:04 00:16:05:04 -To Karstad? -Yes. 00:16:05:21 00:16:09:20 -Me and Olav. -You and Olav? 00:16:12:04 00:16:16:10 -Here's the same car. -I can see that. 00:16:20:20 00:16:25:07 "Reidar is not man enough for the king," said gran. 00:16:25:09 00:16:28:11 He wouldn't enter the polling station. 00:16:28:13 00:16:33:08 He knew that his ballot paper would be discarded. 00:16:33:10 00:16:38:10 Reidar is 46 and legally a minor. He, who really loves wine. 00:16:40:02 00:16:46:12 There is a funeral Reidar is determined to attend. 00:16:46:14 00:16:49:14 I know who it is. 00:16:49:16 00:16:55:18 Somebody he worked with at the horse centre a while ago. 00:16:55:20 00:16:59:17 The one who works there asked me to tell you- 00:16:59:19 00:17:07:17 -that Reidar wanted to be there, but he has to work that day. 00:17:07:19 00:17:11:22 -But he must be allowed to go. -Did she say that? 00:17:11:24 00:17:17:02 -I was to tell you. -Why couldn't she say it? 00:17:17:04 00:17:23:23 Yesterday he tried to explain that he wanted to buy flowers. 00:17:24:00 00:17:30:11 Great if you talk to her, so that you can sort it out. 00:17:30:13 00:17:34:20 Do you want to buy flowers for Peder's funeral? 00:17:34:22 00:17:39:16 -I would like that. -You want to go to the funeral? 00:17:39:18 00:17:43:19 -Yes. -Who is going with you? 00:18:06:06 00:18:11:06 He knows how everything is supposed to be! 00:18:13:22 00:18:18:05 We have spent a lot of time together. 00:18:18:07 00:18:22:17 -You won't come to my house? -Yes. I will. 00:18:22:19 00:18:27:15 Bjørn-Inge can pick you up. 00:18:28:08 00:18:31:04 -All right? -Yes. 00:18:31:06 00:18:36:07 So, you will come to my house? 00:18:36:09 00:18:41:07 -You'll come to my house. -Afterwards. 00:18:41:09 00:18:46:03 That's how we should be. They are so grateful. 00:18:47:02 00:18:53:19 They show delight about everything. It is so genuine. 00:18:54:11 00:19:00:15 And they handle grief in a different way from us. 00:19:00:17 00:19:06:12 They don't put it aside. They carry it along with them. 00:20:59:00 00:21:05:22 I can tell you about the summer when Else was a child. 00:21:05:24 00:21:09:22 I still have a picture of the day. 00:21:09:24 00:21:15:00 I had been at home there for about a month. 00:21:15:02 00:21:20:13 Reidar was leaving. It was around 20. August. 00:21:20:15 00:21:26:13 Dad or mum always took him there. So all was well. 00:21:26:15 00:21:32:13 But on that occasion we received a phone-call saying- 00:21:32:15 00:21:40:10 -that staff from Solbakken were picking up people by car. 00:21:40:12 00:21:47:03 Evereything was ok. Reidar kept saying: "I stay here." 00:21:47:05 00:21:50:14 "I not go away." 00:21:50:16 00:21:56:11 He was carrying Else. She was born in June, so she was small. 00:21:56:13 00:21:59:20 He carried her outside. Nice weather. 00:21:59:22 00:22:05:20 He sat down on a stone. I took a picture of them. 00:22:08:12 00:22:15:19 He was smiling and happy, and we really enjoyed ourselves. 00:22:15:21 00:22:21:13 Then the car arrived. Full of all of them. 00:22:21:15 00:22:27:23 He didn't want to. He sat on the stairs. 00:22:28:00 00:22:34:10 "I want to stay here, Magnhild. I want to stay here, dad." 00:22:35:15 00:22:40:02 Mum took Else and went inside. 00:22:40:04 00:22:48:03 She couldn't bear witnessing what she knew would happen. 00:22:48:05 00:22:54:22 What happened... They were in the lounge drinking coffee. 00:22:54:24 00:22:58:19 We had even baked a cake. 00:22:58:21 00:23:04:24 And they had to leave. He didn't want to. 00:23:05:01 00:23:09:13 He gripped me tightly. 00:23:11:10 00:23:17:01 He gripped. Thought he would break my back. 00:23:17:03 00:23:22:02 They loosened one finger after the other. Dad disappeared. 00:23:22:04 00:23:27:02 So Reidar and I were left standing in the farm yard. 00:23:27:04 00:23:32:01 I can't bear telling this, Margreth. 00:23:32:03 00:23:36:09 They finally freed him and carried him to the car. 00:23:38:02 00:23:44:20 Then he called for me. And he called for Else. 00:23:44:22 00:23:49:08 "Stay here! Stay at home, Magnhild!" 00:23:49:10 00:23:53:24 "Please! I want to stay with you!" 00:23:54:01 00:24:00:10 "You stay here!" These words tormented me for a long time. 00:24:35:09 00:24:39:09 Now I have made coffee. 00:27:11:06 00:27:16:07 Shall we look for the usual car? 00:27:16:09 00:27:20:24 -There it is! -Yes. A car like that. 00:27:21:21 00:27:27:02 We don't have one like that. They don't sell it anymore. 00:27:27:04 00:27:31:08 I must have told you a thousand times. 00:27:31:10 00:27:33:23 No. Ten times. 00:27:34:00 00:27:37:18 This one! 00:27:37:20 00:27:43:16 They don't make it anymore. I have told you ten times. 00:27:43:18 00:27:47:00 At least ten times. 00:27:48:20 00:27:52:23 You can have another car. 00:27:53:00 00:28:00:09 It's a bit smaller. We can get it for you for Christmas. 00:28:00:11 00:28:05:21 It's a bit smaller. Not as large as the other one. 00:28:05:23 00:28:09:10 This one has 7 seats. That one only 5. 00:28:09:12 00:28:13:21 It costs 206 000, I think. 00:28:17:18 00:28:20:05 Scénic. There. 206 000. 00:28:20:07 00:28:23:08 That's fine. 00:28:23:10 00:28:27:20 You'll have to exchange your old Toyota. 00:28:50:11 00:28:53:14 Ok. Next. 00:29:09:04 00:29:14:10 One of my first memories is a white sheet gran had. 00:29:14:12 00:29:20:21 She found out that uncle Reidar was not happy at Solbakken. 00:29:20:23 00:29:24:16 She followed him, and worked as a nurse. 00:29:24:18 00:29:27:10 She bought flowery bed-linen- 00:29:27:12 00:29:30:18 -and banned pills against homesickness. 00:29:30:20 00:29:35:02 It was national day.A banner she unfolded on the bed. 00:29:35:04 00:29:41:00 Normally the clients were packed into a bus and taken to Florø. 00:29:41:02 00:29:45:00 They could watch the parade from the bus. 00:29:45:02 00:29:50:18 Gran had taken the sheet off the bed and fastened it to two sticks. 00:29:50:20 00:29:55:18 In black ink she wrote: "We are a nation, we too." 00:30:53:09 00:30:59:09 NORSK TEKST AS Eva Janneke Lofstad 00:30:59:11 00:31:03:11